Sunday, December 7, 2008

annoyed of myelf!!

I recently saw a photo in my friends Orkut album which was related to the recent terror attack, some sort of cg work, but god knows what happened to me and that really made me angry. Here is why..!!
26/11, the day when people were terrified at night by something new to our country, something that took away so many lives, including ace police officers of our city and perhaps of our country as well. What followed next was something that all of us knows, peace rally's, asking questions to government, pointing the top officials, resignations by the government officials.

What happened last week made us all angry. Their were people who felt bad to be Indian, why so much of a drama I still don know. At times when city was on high alert, RDX was found on CST again, we were still asking question, and gathering in huge number at a place where few days back NSG and our police force were trying to defeat terrorists.

Before I try commenting anything let me just give bit of an update of what all happened so far:..!!
>Radios shouting..!!! Do not let this anger go...and all those crap
>two, three peace rally's...
>asking question to government official..!!
government officials busy giving resignation., blaming each other and making a cheap vote-winning tactics out of such a big mishap..!!
>messages pouring down over what was Raj Thackrey doing
> still trying to keep our anger...
>An I forgot the news channels..!!!! they were so very lucky people..!! its like the wolfs got their meal..!!

and the senario today:
A plane was delayed because a so called Indian politician was upset about changing flight as his regular flight was shut due to technical problem..!! dude... not a biggie!!
We are sitting at our place doing nothing....
Now here is what I say..!!
Veer Sanghvi ( who writes in Hindustan times) very well commented that all our anger was being used up completely in irregular directions..!! say like excited atoms..!!
coming back to my friends photo ..!! like I mentioned before i was upset with that cg message put up..!! Since past few days I am feeling guilty that in this entire week...we did nothing except publicizing our anger. Our police force needs help but we were busy making processions. Perhaps by now even our anger is all used up... and we are all use to with it now..!! I blame my self for putting a line or two over my orkut profile on this.
We as youngsters have got many ways to help our nation grow and be immune against terrorism. I was thinking what can be the possible defect. Today evening I got an answer to that as well. I was watching a movie called Ants Bully over HBO and what I realized that perhaps we can learn more from the ants. United we stand Devided we fall!! is the general human term for that..!!
The reason for this guilt of even putting two lines in my profile regarding the terror attack was only that.. I myself have not contributed anything to the nation at i don't have a right to comment..!!! I agree the fact that what our politicians did and what they are still doing was and is wrong but somewhere even we are getting away from our duties. !! We still find it lame to go through that security check. We reached moon but at the same time even terrorist reached our nation. We need to make a change wee need to contribute by little efforts from our side too to make our country a peaceful nation.
We need to co-operate with our officials, we need to learn to put our demands. If we are not heard then probably we our self should initiate and make our point heard. We have to now put zero tolerance and have to start being practical enough by helpng our defence system grow and have a total modernization.
Lastly before I leave I would put few lines that i read in an article in hindustan times today on Mohammad Hanif, he said that:

I think the problem with TV is that it doesn’t allow for mourning unless it’s of the variety observed by photogenic people with candles and facebook accounts. With pen and paper, or even with a laptop, between typing one sentence and struggling to write another you can let out a sigh of desperation and admit to yourself that you don’t know what the hell is going on. You have no idea if there will be a solution in your life time.

Try saying that to an anchor-person.

you can catch entire article on this page:

Sunday, October 19, 2008

When u are questioned of being yourself!

3 in the morning
Its 3 in the morning as i wait, staring the computer screen: cold, confused, calm, sad, worried and above all tired; just for one hint from my friend that yes I still matter. Away from boundaries of the world that i will be facing five hours from now, the world where nothing actually matters the world where I am nothing more then what I show off as. Away from all this glitters, stuck in confusion at a time when everything else is beginning; the day, the week and somewhere on this mighty earth a life.
Sometimes I feel why me, why life is so strange upon me, why do I always have to submit myself to the weary world? Why has nature made this supreme rule that what others get from me is a smile but what i get from others is tears. Long, calm and dark nights went by in deep thoughts of arguing these queries, researching my faults, but at the end, come back to square one just to waste the next night for the same cause. The world has changed and so has attitude. Friendship is not about expecting anymore its just a phase. Love has taken a form called 'living'.
What I wrote what I am going to write may sound completely bizarre, but I have no other proof then this to show how my life has become completely strange and undoubtedly scary. Still I feel like waiting for that one hint from my friend that I still matter, still I am sitting here in front of my computer screen still expecting that like a day is beginning, a week is kicking off my friendship kicks of to a better level. Still expecting things that now has become history, still expecting experiences that in themselves are slowly becoming myths and mysteries

And my frend won
There is a stark difference between being disheartened and disappointed,when you are disheartened your hopes are lost just to get them back the very next moment but when you are disappointed your hope is lost completely and even if you search the world for that lost hope you come home lost and tired, before I was disheartened but today finally I am disappointed. A stage comes when you completely give up, nothing seems normal, the people, the world, our friends, our family and above all our behavior.
From 3AM to 4Am to 5...the clock kept ticking the world kept rising a day kept emerging out of nowhere , starting new week but things for me were no longer normal. Yes I finally got to talk with my friend but that made me realize something. I am not normal, no this doesn't have to deal with sexual orientation I am very much straight but above all this I am still not normal, not like others or to be frank not like what others see in their friends and try to expect the same from me, I am obnoxious. My abnormality was nothing but my very own emotions. Sometimes you are so full of bad luck that at the end you don't even bother when you realize that your inner self also cheated you and made a joke out you. What seemed to me as my strength: My emotions, was one the biggest culprits in my mockery, in my abnormality (as my friends tell me).

When you see others disappointed you don't realize what it is to be disappointed, when you yourself are disappointed even if you know how it may feel you always seem to feel worst and unwanted, as if you are destined to be deprived, you are stuck in a middle of nowhere in a dark night alone and even stars are not their to accompany you. Out of nowhere rain plays it part like a perfect friend he hides your tears, soothes you down, helps you cry and makes it easy for you to hide your grief, a downpour of rejuvenation as i would call it. But still you stand their not bothered anymore about anything. Just sitting there trying to battle with thoughts and a stage comes when you are so wounded and tired you give up to your mind lie down and go for a nice slumber. Rain realizes that he succeeded in helping you and stops pouring down.

They say don't bother what others did to you what other think of you..but what about those whom you love whom you care for. What when they leave you stranded, leave u behind with grief, restlessness and a dark impact and above all leaves a horrified and shocked-at-the-moment friend.

Finally the time arrived time to show off my acting talent to hide from my college friends what I had gone through and what I was going through, to arbitrarily act happy, to point blankly laugh out even when I have not heard their joke because your mind and your senses were busy cajoling with the joke your own emotions and your own life had played on you just few hours back. Life moves on they say but not always sometimes you need to give that numbness to your body and time for your inner self to regain its energy, life doesn't always move on sometimes it has to stop, someday it has to get a break, it needs to be rejuvenated. When in future I will lie back remembering all this I may laugh or at least a smile may get planted over my lips probably that will be a memento of my conquering this and many such battles that may be lined up in future for me

Incredulously the laced fingers loosen,
Slowly sensation by sensation, from their warm interchange,
And stiffen like frosted flowers in the November garden.

Already division piles emphasis like bullets;
Already the one dark air is separate and strange.


There is no touch now. The wave has broken
That for a moment charged the desolate sea.
There is a word or two left to be spoken
--yet who would hear it? When so swiftly distance
Out measures time, engulfs identity?

Already like the dreamer startled from sleep
And the vivid image lost even in the waking,
There is no taste now for the shrunken sense to keep,
And these, the dreamer’s eyes, are not alive to weep,
And this, the clinic heart, the dreamer’s is not breaking.

Is it so easy then? Goodbye no more then this
Quiet disaster? And is there a cause for sorrow
That in this small white murder of one kiss
Are born two ghosts, two Hamlets, two soliloquies
Two worlds apart, tomorrow?
-by Helen Spalding

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

From Nanotehnology to Nano-Car, Gujrat is getting nano

State government will give 1000 acre of Anand agriculture university for one of the India's most controversial projects which tossed rite from the eastern cost way back to the land of smart businessmen 'Gujrat'. Congrats Narendra Modi (sir) happy nano to u!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Follow or Dont follw!!!

Rules....Regulations, these words has been with and arround us since the time we were born. Everything in this world is bounded by a set of rules.We went to kinder-garden, the building blocks of ruless school the never-ending saga of punishment were unforgetteble i suppose..and why were these punishments..for breaking rules!, college ok a bit of freedom but even here rulse never left us infact they were more gross then what we had till school level. It was like transfer of rules from a set of what we were following to a set of new rules. In our generation Rules are said to be those things which are ment to be broken. Why? Why do we make rulse just to break them. One thing that doesnt manage to penetrate my mind is that Why are rules made? Are we humans so stupid that we need to manually inforce rules on each other. Has the apex of Living Kingdom, the man, not managed to imbibe the ability to follow things without making rules. Has our understanding power degraded to the level that we cant understand the way things should be tackeled? In early times people were not bounded by rules and even if there were rules, they were half mentioned rules with rest left to the self-understanding but then during those times life was not about any-day riot-any day-terror. Life during that time was not about proffesionalism and workoholism. As time passes by life is becoming more and more complex and with the increasing complexity, life is getting more and more bounded by rules. For those who dont like personal advice..( I know I u are not bounded to listen to my advices but stillincase u feel like following) either break them or its better u turn urself into an ameoba! So till i end up here again with some other article keep breaking rules...

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

How to be a bad friend?

Ok you might have heard many how-to-do’s, like how to be intelligent, how to be smart Etc. Well here is another such uncommon and funny member of the how-to-do community, how to be a bad friend. Ok we all try to be a good friend of someone we admire the most, but don’t you think sometimes being a bad friend helps! Like we need to fight with someone and need to bitch about someone on occasional bases don’t we.

I have a friend, no matter how much I try explaining him about how my life is way too hectic to chill out with him he doesn’t seem to understand only. Another friend of mine doesn’t seem to understand the fact that he is actually having some good talents. Some friends are way too obscure to talk about. And others they don’t come out of the prognostications. For me I can’t stand a friend who always keeps prying in your life, and can’t understand you. These are the typical bad-friends-types that are not rare species.

I thought this will be a good point to ask my generation what according to them a bad friend is surprisingly I got some strange views:
According to a friend of mine if a person is your friend only because he wants something of you then he is a very bad friend, another friend of mine thinks that the person who does not consider you as your friend is a bad friend, If u r bad for someone then he is bad for you, a friend who is happy to be with is a good friend......... else he is bad to be with.

So one thing is for sure no matter how much you try to take things positively sometimes negativity is necessary. By now I realize this one particular fact that being a good or a bad friend is nothing rare in today’s world. This entire good friend and bad friend system is in self a relative term. Every individual has different criteria for friend those who don’t fit in these criteria are your bad friends.

If we generalize this we can say that there is nothing as Good friends and bad friends a good friend for me can be a bad friend for someone else..and vice versa. But yeah we do have to get some spice, and some challenges (as I would like to say) and hence we do need some villains in our life. So for a bad friend a perfect guide is try to find someone whom you hate the most might be he /she is your next door neighbor. Whatever it is I would like to say one thing, you should have someone whose qualities don’t fit the bill. The final verdict is Friends are always not for the good sometimes you need BAD FRIENDS!!

Bad manners of friendship:
1) Picture this you are deep in your work and suddenly your friend just jumps over and starts blabbering around for nothing you warn him ones he doesn’t listen to you, you warn him second times he doesn’t seem to be excepting your tantrum, you even insult him way to badly but still he doesn’t budge from his not-so-important stupid talks. One thing, don’t understand your friend’s situation you will be a great bad-friend.

2) “Ok I want you to leave alone for a while so please don’t bug me” This is something my friend told me the other day when I was just sitting beside him and I didn’t leave him alone. Result: Loads of tantrums followed by three days of apology, too much of time waste instead I should have heard him and left him alone. Second kindly just stick to your pal when he wants to be alone or he asks for a privacy…you will be a bad friend for sure.

3) Rest all are relative so kindly check your nearest human to know what qualities you require to be a BAD FRIEND!!

So till you make few bad friends try to have fun with good ones and share this idea with them as well.
Good Day and God Bless
Adios amigos!

Saturday, February 9, 2008

The terror..time.....: Exam Mania...!!!!

Ok its the "educatonal year end" ...sorry m using the nicest way to mention tht it is exam time.... journal submissions and certifications...studying for exams...completing journals with frend and above all...finishing the portion. So much to do and time well no matter how much enough the time is it seems to be less....

Above all wat sucks the most is the fact that we have to score more......uh...avoid ATKT...and thus stress... You know wat the best way to avoid all this is?
no no dont study from begining..i cant suggest tht as i dont practice i my slef..and there is no point in preaching wat u dont practise....anyways...just do one thing....go study...[:D]